I lost one of the most important people in my life, my father, and things haven't been the same since and I doubt they ever will be. Everything became a new normal and everyone became much nearer and much dearer. Tragedy can bring out the worst in a person but it can bring out the best in a person's loved ones. You don't want to but you remember who picked up the phone and who didn't. You remember who sent warm wishes versus who didn't notice, who remembers months later versus who tells you they love you. It comes up again, and again, and again, because assigning bad feelings to the people who didn't call is easier than mourning again six months later at Thanksgiving when you aren't at the table together. Remembering who you had to keep reminding is easier than remembering that your dad isn't just in New Orleans rehearsing for a gig. It's not a trait you like about yourself, the bitterness, but it's easier to swallow than the sadness.
